K left for Thailand at 3am.

And finally, Charles Veritie sends in this Joke fit for an 11-year-old.

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room.

A family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"
he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

SNOWED UNDER

Got totally snowed under. Stood in for Ant. It was today - still is, haven't quite finished. I'm semi-conscious. Had some problems but generally it went well. Having trouble printing the postscript file, blah blah. The whole mag in a day! Bloody awful charts and tables to put in. But it's only a 12 page newsletter. Last night ended up having three hours tossing and turning and got up again to start it. Not in the best of fettle, consequently. Haven't eaten anything yet.

New neighbours seem to have settled down. Quite a dramatic domestic on Wednesday. Guy has a nasty violent streak. Still, they lasted a week. The last lot started smashing the place up the first weekend they arrived.

Anyone fancy a quick snog round the back of the bike sheds?

A frisky filly walks into a bar and says 'neigh'.
'The usual then', says the barman, reaching for his riding crop

From Newsnight email:

Worst Joke of the Year (so far):

A piece of string walks into a bar.

The barman asks, "Are you a piece of string?"

"No", it replies, "I'm a frayed knot."

GLASTO

I've been watching some of the sets here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/glastonbury/2008/

I see that Stackridge, who were the first ever band to play Glastonbury in 1970 (and ended the show too as the Kinks were stuck in a layby) have reformed and are playing this time. Their albums are re-released and on iTunes. That's on the web too, dears.

I see Shakin' Stevens was on, the Welsh Elvis. Leonard Cohen's on too.

I'm having problems with C. I can't stop him acting either like Andy Pandy on uppers or growling at me every time he opens his mouth

Buying myself some books, and not just so's I'll know more than 'is nibs! Controlling people can't control talent combined with skill ;)

Production for Graphic Designers, so I can understand the printer and not look a fool, (everyone is terrified of the printer) and have a better idea of this pre-press process, which is mind bogglingly complicated to get colours right etc, and this two-in-one on Design and Type. They're the best ones. And tax deductible.

I'm determined not to self-sabotage this time and lapse into negativity, but the leap to marketing myself to people is a high one. I have to make it tho cos I have one or two things I want to hold on to and more I want to do. I shall b doing it very soon.

I'm still half asleep and just up. My memory is fading fa er fas er. f

I've got a head full of finance, or lack of it. I'm owed lots.

Hard copies arrived this morning. Looks bloody fantastic. So I have to go around the obstacle. But where to start. Big M has messed with my 'in' and I don't know where else to go... mulling...

Ooooh.... an auto update from Microsoft for Office. Yah!